Lil Baby Who Gon' Listen
Ever since I was a child, I hated being told what to do. Cant explain it, cant dwell on it too long, but something about someone directing my next moves just makes me want to change the script.
I remember as a little girl my grandmother telling me to go clean my bathroom, clean my room (things I should have been doing) and it would just piss me off. Especially, particularly if I was already on my way to doing this anyway and you just beat me to the punch of handling what ever needed to be handled.
This has trickled into so many areas of my life and to be fair, it’s something that I can acknowledge, but I’m not really sure what the next course of action is. I have no intention at my middle age to blindly follow anyone and their instruction. As far as track records go, anyone who tried to tell me what to do, didn’t meet the criteria.
It goes beyond simple acts of defiance and it really boils down to a safety issue. I do not trust anyone to make any executive decisions regarding me, especially when I don’t feel considered or have enough trust or rapport built. It’s very much “who are you for real?” vibes, and yea even Granny got it. Because she was my Granny, I’m sure her intentions were…decent overall, but really…. REALLY? Respect is a two way street and at that age I didn’t respect her enough to just trust her judgement because I often felt like her way of thinking was extremely outdated. I didn’t have the vocabulary for it back then, but now it all makes sense.
And I admire that about myself. I’m not blindly taking instructions and if it’s something that needed to get handled on my end, it did. That’s all I can offer the world in this aspect. And instead of judging where I should be, I am going to meet myself where I am at and I appreciate it. What Jill Scott Say??
“If you can tell me what to do, then you can tell me what to do. If you can’t telll me what to do, then don’t tell me what to do.”
